Tag: Benny Gantz

Binyamin Netanyahu, Israeli Politics

Daily Freier retracts Satire about Bibi using NASA Images to troll Lapid & Gantz after Bibi uses NASA Images to troll Lapid & Gantz

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 8/23/2022 at 09:30 PM

Tel Aviv: The world of Anglo-infused Israeli satire is in shambles today after Authorities ordered The Daily Freier to retract a recent story or face stiff financial penalties. Earlier this week the Daily Freier published a humorous story in which Abu Yair Former Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu trolled his political opponents by invoking photos of Outer Space taken by The USA’s National Aeronautics and Space Administration. It was a story in which Bibi compared Pluto’s planet/non-planet status to the Blue and White Party’s shaky power-sharing agreement between Benny Gantz and Yair Lapid. A simple, cute story with a funny punchline involving Naftali Bennet’s kippah.

Little did we know that Mr. Netanyahu would in fact temporarily become a “Twitter Reply Guy”, taking a seemingly innocent NASA tweet about Jupiter as an opportunity to mock Gantz and Lapid. With our satirical story no longer clearly satirical, officials from Israel’s Bureau of Journalistic Standards arrived this morning at the Daily Freier’s office in Dizengoff Center with a Court Order.

“This is a disaster.” lamented Daily Freier writer Aaron Pomerantz. “Something like this has never happened to us. I mean, not since 2016.“

Reactions to Netanyahu’s Tweet in the community were immediate. “This is unprecedented!” noted Tel Aviv web developer Doron R. “Bibi’s Trolling is such absolute Bullshit…it’s…. it’s Majestic!”

“This is next-level trolling.” remarked Ramat Gan pensioner Danny T. “Possibly better than Trump’s recent endorsement of AOC.”

In order to avoid this sort of thing happening in the future, the Daily Freier vowed to henceforth only write clearly fake news, such as stories about a German guy and his Israeli husband going on Secret Tel Aviv to get their prudish, legally blind, anti-social dog laid.

Israeli Politics

Top ten reasons the Porcupine walked into Knesset bathroom

The world is in crisis: riots in the streets of America and Europe, escalation in Syria, a potential diplomatic crisis concerning the Annexation Bill. So it’s at times like these that we can truly count on the Jerusalem Post to deliver the hard-hitting news, like….ummm….. a porcupine that walked into the Knesset bathroom. Anyhoo, the Daily Freier followed up on this story and went places that the Jerusalem Post was too scared or not bored enough to go. That’s right, we talked to the porcupine (which wasn’t easy because unlike us, it completed Ulpan Kita Gimel). So behold: the Top Ten Reasons why the porcupine was in the Knesset public restroom.

1. I saw Amir Peretz without his mustache and got scared.

2. In here, nobody can ask me to join their stupid Zoom meeting.

3.  Sara Netanyahu is starting to yell at The Help and this looked like a good place to hide.

4.  I wanted to use the bathroom on the second floor but Ayman Odeh said that it was “Occupied”.

5. Tamar Zandberg gave me something called a “space cookie”. Now the walls are talking & I’m seeing double.

6. Go ahead and tell me a more interesting thing to do in Jerusalem.

7. Apparently, I’m also a Minister in Bibi’s cabinet now.

8. Was just trying to find where Ice Cube kept his amazing theories.

9. Bezalel Smotrich told me to meet him here and not to tell anybody.

10. Benny Gantz was giving a speech on the Knesset Floor and I kept falling asleep.