Tag: Jaffa

Tourist Searching for “Best Hummus In Tel Aviv” Still Missing

Tel Avivi Daily Freier Hummus

(Photo Credits: Tel Avivi)

By Joshua Rodin

Last Updated 7/27/2016 at 8:20 AM

Tel Aviv: The Israeli Municipal and National Police have put out a National Alert for a missing American tourist, last seen 72 hours ago. According to the Police Report, the missing person’s name is Sarah [insert another initial here]. Sarah, described as 21 years old, brunette, 5’2″, was last seen by friends on her way to locate “The Best Hummus Spot in Tel Aviv”.

Yeah, I have no idea where she could have gone.” said David R., a friend of Sarah’s and a fellow team member from one of Israel’s countless and easily forgettable MASA programs. “The last thing she said to me was that this really nice Israeli guy  told her about an amazing hummus spot in Tel Aviv (‘much better than all the others’) near the Carmel Market and that she was going to check it out…. And that was the last I heard of her.” David stared at the floor with a worried look on his face, “I mean she should have been back days ago, not to mention the fact that clearly the best Hummus place is Falafel Gabay on Dizengoff.

Israeli Police who searched for Sarah since early Tuesday say that they have yet to find her but have identified several witnesses throughout the city who have claimed to have spoken to a woman who matches that description.

Yossi L., a long-time resident of Tel Aviv of 5 months claims to have spoken to Sarah that very day. “Yes, emmmmmm, I saw the American girl, she came up to me asking for directions. She was looking for the best hummus restaurant in Tel Aviv and it was supposed to be located the Carmel Market. I realized immediately she must have been lost and confused since the best hummus is on Pinsker Street and I quickly redirected her.” Yossi smiled and continued his story. “I mean Hummus HaCarmel is okay I guess but the real stuff is obviously Hummus Mashawsha.

Tel Avivi Daily Freier Hummus 2

Police scoured Pinsker Street for clues but soon discovered that Sarah had already left the area. Another witness, Chaim T., seems to have spoken to Sarah as well, “Yes I saw her but she seemed very dazed and confused, looking for the best hummus on Pinsker Street when she should have been in Yafo at Abu Dhabi.” adding quickly with a broad smile, “Obviously I gave her directions … only 5 different buses with Moovit, not Waze!

Israeli Police Spokesperson Adi F. remained confident when speaking with the press today, saying “This is not an unusual event, we lose track of 3-25 tourists every year and they usually turn up … eventually.” Adi quickly added, “She’s almost certainly located at Abu Hassan. Which is hands-down the best Hummus in Tel Aviv.

UPDATE: Relieved residents learned this morning that Sarah is alive and well.  While wandering Yafo yesterday, Sarah suffered from heat exhaustion and alert bystanders rushed her to the nearest medical facility, Doctor Shakshuka.  She is still sipping Limonana and looking at the menu because “there are just so many choices“.

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The Daily Freier: Obituaries & Transitions

The Daily Freier Obituaries & Transitions

Danny B.   Danny recently moved from Tel Aviv to Jaffa, but forgot important medication at his old apartment.  After falling ill last week, Danny contacted his former housemate to bring him the medication, but because “Jaffa is kinda far” and “you really can’t take a bus“, Danny never received it.

Maya G: Maya traveled with friends from Tel Aviv for a night out in Jerusalem on Thursday when she felt short of breath. Maya immediately called Emergency Services, but as she was unfamiliar with the city, explained her location to the Dispatcher as “a really nice club in Jerusalem with a cool vibe.” The dispatcher told Maya to stop prank-calling Emergency Services with fake calls and hung up on her.

Natan P: In late May, Natan went to one of the bars on Dizengoff with the outdoor tables and the stools and passed away today after waiting 32 days for the waitress to return with the check.

Hillel C: Early this Spring, Hillel went to his restaurant job at the Namal Port wearing his uniform of black pants and a white shirt. It was a bit cold so he wore a hat.  As he was passing Max Brenners, a conservatively dressed girl who was waiting by herself asked if he was Hillel. He said yes and started to talk with her. Things were going well and they walked to the bridge over the Yarkon and looked at the water and talked about their families. Halfway into the evening he realized he was on somebody else’s Shidduch Date.  The couple currently reside in the frum part of Beit Shemesh and are expecting their first child.

 

 

 

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