Tag: public transportation

Tel Aviv women compare the city’s bus lines to their ex-boyfriends

Tel Aviv women buses guys Daily FreierBy Emily Goldstein

Last Updated 7/21/2017 at 5:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Dizengoff: Recently a group of Tel Aviv women made a dramatic discovery: the city’s various bus routes bore far more than a passing resemblance to their experiences with Tel Aviv men…. past, present, and future. Some are fast. Some are slow. Some are reliable. Some will take you places you’ve never been. Some never show up. The Daily Freier stopped in for a nice girl chat and some serious dishing over drinks.

Aurelia started off. “Some buses are amazing but fickle.” she explained. “The Number 13? Promises to take you from Allenby to Tel Aviv University in less than twenty minutes? Yeah, he’s the best…. when he shows up. He’s the hot guy you really like who one day totally up and left for Europe without telling you. But he’s totally passionate and you really did feel a connection. So, yeah.  If you catch him while he’s in town he’s totally down for a booty call.

But not all the buses are that exciting or frustrating.  Rachel explained  “So then there’s the 25 Route. Reliable. Takes it slow… On time…. Lame. He’s the Beta that you friend-zoned. I mean I guess you could take him home. But he’s boring a-f.

Of course some buses are reliable AND exciting. Aurelia broke it down for us. “The 289? Adventurous. It goes north AND south. He goes EVERYWHERE. I mean the 289 is just an all around catch… like you’ll probably go traveling together and shit.

Rachel thought for a moment. “Remember that guy you kinda liked but not liked-liked? He’s the 125. You know, the one you didn’t mean to go so far with, but ended up all the way down…. South.” Rachel quickly clarified her statement. “I meant like Yafo.

Then there are the…. unorthodox routes. Arielle explained. “The 66? He’s the guy everyone’s been with. Kinda skanky. Lives with his parents in Ramat Gan. Not bad….but not good either.

When asked if Sheruts factor into the equation, Arielle was quick to note the 4א Route. “Remember him? You met him like ONCE at a party two years ago. Seemed cool. Then he ghosted you. Never. Saw him. Again.

 

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Tel Aviv is going crazy for new Perfume “Sherut Number 5”

(Disclaimer: Our lawyers say that this font really doesn’t resemble anything.)

By Emily Goldstein and Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 10/25/2016 at 12:30 PM

Tel Aviv, Dizengoff: The city’s “Who’s Who” are just about losing their minds about the hot new perfume hitting the streets: “Sherut Number 5“, inspired by the smell of a Tel Aviv shared taxi. The Daily Freier’s very own Emily Goldstein and Aaron Pomerantz attended the product launch today by Dizengoff Square and spoke with the designers of this hot new product.

Lead designer Orit K. explained the origins of the perfume. “So last year, we launched ‘Tahanah Merkazit’, the cologne for men who want to smell like the Central Bus Station. And the reaction was great. But a lot of women in Tel Aviv were left asking ‘So when will there be a product that also lets US smell like cigarette smoke, B.O, and poor decisions?’ So here we are. Welcome to Israel.

Product testing Team Leader Stav C. then interjected to explain how they created the specific ingredients for Sherut Number 5. “On Thursday nights, our teams would get on the Sherut at Rothschild and ride all the way to Ibn Gavriol. They took atmosphere samples as they picked up and dropped off passengers. We really wanted to capture the sights, the sounds, the secretions, and the smells that make Sherut Number 5 so special“.

Orit cautioned us that the product was incredibly powerful and offered the testimony of local guy “Yoav”, who initially attended today’s product launch because he saw women and a table of free food. “I don’t know what happened, but when I smelled the perfume on the spokesmodels, all of my critical thinking skills went out the window. I felt as if I needed to hit on them no matter how ridiculous my game was or how inappropriate the timing. It was like…. like….. like I ran into a busload of girls on Birthright.

Sherut Number 5 will be in stores early next week, and they offer shipping to Europe and North America for Chanukah.

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