Tag: Truth Social

Iran War 2026, Top 10

Iran’s Top Ten Excuses For Not Capturing Our Downed Pilots
Soon to be a Mark Wahlberg Production!

1. The New Ayatollah was locked in his room all night dancing by himself to Madonna’s “Vogue” album.

2. We just wanted to see Trump’s deranged Truth Social post after they were rescued.

3. Nick Fuentes made a Giant Scene in the War Room when we wouldn’t let him fly the drone.

4. We kept waiting for Maverick and Rooster to try to fly them out in an old F-14.

5. Ilhan was going to send us the American Distress Codes, but it was Date Night with her husband/brother.

6. Our Search Party was using Waze.

7. Thought the strange foreigner running shirtless in the woods was just Jeremy Corbyn on Holiday again.

8. Should have suspected those Mountain Goat Herders when they started playing Matkot.

9. We didn’t think the Americans could pull off this operation without the help of Spain and France.

10. Our IT Department was closed for Pesach.

Binyamin Netanyahu

Israel’s Satirists & Comedians demand Yair Netanyahu return to Twitter

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 5/14/2023 at 12:30 PM

Tel Aviv: Israel’s humor community is in a funk today, thanks to the continued exile of their biggest meal ticket: Yair Netanyahu. According to The Jerusalem Post, the Prime Minister’s son has been banished to America and barred from social media by his family. That’s right, The Netanyahus have shipped their Prolific Tweeter/Shitposter to the USA. You see, Mr. Yair has proven to be a bit of a distraction to our Prime Minister, who has been busy himself keeping together a coalition/bad sitcom featuring such wacky character actors as Bezalel Smotrich and Itamar Ben Gvir. So for political expediency, Yair’s been temporarily banished. Naturally, this is causing a huge crisis among Israel’s humorists. The Daily Freier reached out to members of the Community as they struggled with this loss to their livelihoods.

“My recent article about Yair and Prince Harry is in serious jeopardy.” whined The Mystery Man Who Writes the “Pre-Occupied Territory” Blog. “Things can’t go on like this. Bibi, please think of the satirists. I have a mortgage.”

“We need him on Twitter.” admonished distraught local comedian Benji Lovitt.  “And not just because Israel doesn’t have Truth Social. If he stays in America, I’m filing for unemployment insurance.”

The Daily Freier then walked around our own office in Dizengoff Center and asked Tel Aviv Culture reporter Aaron Pomerantz about his thoughts. “This is worse than the Corona Lockdown when we were trapped indoors and forced to satirize ourselves.” complained Mr. Pomerantz as he drank his coffee hafuch. “Between this and Secret Tel Aviv being way less weird these days, I may have to get a real job. But I won’t.“

As the Daily Freier went to press, Israel’s satirists breathed a sigh of relief on news that Sara is yelling at The Help again.