Tag: Abu Yair

Binyamin Netanyahu

Israel’s Satirists & Comedians demand Yair Netanyahu return to Twitter

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 5/14/2023 at 12:30 PM

Tel Aviv: Israel’s humor community is in a funk today, thanks to the continued exile of their biggest meal ticket: Yair Netanyahu. According to The Jerusalem Post, the Prime Minister’s son has been banished to America and barred from social media by his family. That’s right, The Netanyahus have shipped their Prolific Tweeter/Shitposter to the USA. You see, Mr. Yair has proven to be a bit of a distraction to our Prime Minister, who has been busy himself keeping together a coalition/bad sitcom featuring such wacky character actors as Bezalel Smotrich and Itamar Ben Gvir. So for political expediency, Yair’s been temporarily banished. Naturally, this is causing a huge crisis among Israel’s humorists. The Daily Freier reached out to members of the Community as they struggled with this loss to their livelihoods.

“My recent article about Yair and Prince Harry is in serious jeopardy.” whined The Mystery Man Who Writes the “Pre-Occupied Territory” Blog. “Things can’t go on like this. Bibi, please think of the satirists. I have a mortgage.”

“We need him on Twitter.” admonished distraught local comedian Benji Lovitt.  “And not just because Israel doesn’t have Truth Social. If he stays in America, I’m filing for unemployment insurance.”

The Daily Freier then walked around our own office in Dizengoff Center and asked Tel Aviv Culture reporter Aaron Pomerantz about his thoughts. “This is worse than the Corona Lockdown when we were trapped indoors and forced to satirize ourselves.” complained Mr. Pomerantz as he drank his coffee hafuch. “Between this and Secret Tel Aviv being way less weird these days, I may have to get a real job. But I won’t.“

As the Daily Freier went to press, Israel’s satirists breathed a sigh of relief on news that Sara is yelling at The Help again.

 

 

4:20, Israeli Politics

Feiglin’s cannabis voters accidentally choose “Joint List”

“Nobody told us”

(photo credit: Zehut Party)

By Aaron Pomerantz & Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 9/19/2019 at 4:20 PM

Tel Aviv: With the result’s from Tuesday’s elections in, there were some real suprises. Likud under-performed, Lieberman got a lot of votes, and the Arab Joint List Party performed better than expected. Yet while some people attribute Joint List’s performance as a negative reaction to Abu Yair Bibi, the Daily Freier has found the real reason: a large bloc of former Zehut voters accidentally voted Joint List.

You see, Moshe Feiglin’s Zehut Party was a real… party. Kinda hardcore on the National Security side, kinda Libertarian on the domestic side: right to bear arms, and lots and lots of weed. Last year, Zehut did an amazing job of stealing the Stoner vote from Meretz. Later, Feiglin joined Netanyahu’s Coalition in exchange for 3 grams of Kush, rolling papers, some krembo, and an apple. Yet somehow the whole thing turned into a Balagan, as the Daily Freier learned when we went to vote and discovered the confusion of the former Zehut voters. In Tel Aviv, there are A LOT of these guys. Trust us.

“Hey, I just voted for the new Zehut Party.” exclaimed a guy named Udi who we recognized from Midburn. “Their name is the best: ‘Joint List!’ ….That’s almost as good as ‘Spliff List’, right?”

“More votes means cheaper weed!” cackled Danny from the coffee shop. “Also, Mamash love the new name!”

After meeting four more of our confused Zehut friends at the polling station, the Daily Freier finally broke the news: that ‘Joint List’ is a party consisting of Communists, Islamists, and Arab Nationalists…. and we became a giant buzzkill. The reactions were immediate:

“Nobody told us.”

“We thought that maybe Feiglin and the guy with the Mohawk wanted to get a better domain name for their website.”

“Maybe that’s why we didn’t get enough votes last time.”

UPDATE: The Times of Israel reports that Joint List would have received 15 seats, but half of Zehut’s voters think that the Election is tomorrow.