Tag: Berlin

Philadelphia man celebrates 6th year of being “just about to make Aliyah”

Philadelphia man celebrates 6th year of "just about to make Aliyah" Daily FreierBy Mark Levy and Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 4/28/2017 at 3:30 PM

Bucks County, Pennsylvania: With Yom Haatzmaut (Israeli Independence Day) right around the corner, Israelis are celebrating another milestone: the 6th Anniversary of Philadelphia-area resident Jeremy S. being “just about to make Aliyah“. Jeremy, a 29-year-old technical writer and musician, has been “like almost ready” to make the return to Zion since attending a Matisyahu concert in April of 2011 “that like really changed the way I look at life“. The Daily Freier spoke with Jeremy about his on-again/off-again longing for Eretz Yisrael.

“So I’m still like super-stoked to do this.” Jeremy explained, as he ate lunch at a hummus place near Cherry Hill. “But at first it was like, Wait. The Army??? I don’t want to peel potatoes for three years. Maybe if I was promised Intelligence or something. But then there’s my Hebrew. And Ulpan just seems super hard and not really like focused on my needs, you know? Like my friend says it’s full of the French and Ukrainians. So maybe when a lot of Americans start to make Aliyah it will be better for me? I would even do a class with some Canadians.

Jeremy is already on his 3rd Aliyah Counselor, with his first Aliyah counselor rapidly approaching mandatory retirement age. Additionally, half of the people in his original planned Aliyah group have already integrated into society and become so Israeli that in the Spring of 2015 they moved to Berlin for economic reasons.

Jeremy’s Rabbi in suburban Philly has so far written six letters to the Israeli Government attesting to Jeremy’s membership in the Covenant of Abraham. Rabbi Stanley Green, of Congregation Agudath Israel, has become so exasperated with the process that for the latest request he simply took a sheet of Synagogue letterhead and scrawled with a pen “Not again! He’s still Jewish!

Jeremy’s gutsy almost-decision has affected his family as well. His mom Linda joined us via Skype after we helped explain “what all of the buttons on the computer do” and shared her concerns. “As a parent, you never stop worrying about your kids.” Linda explained. “So with the crazy situation over there in the Middle East, and Jeremy almost sort of moving there, well you can imagine my almost sort of anxiety. I’m just concerned that if Matisyahu’s band or those nice girls in A-WA tour the East Coast again this Summer, that Jeremy might take the next step and schedule another Aliyah appointment in Manhattan with Nefesh B’Nefesh. But I’m pretty sure Nefesh started screening his calls some time in 2014.”

Reaction to Jeremy’s slow-motion-Aliyah within the Greater Tel Aviv Community have been rather mixed. North Tel Aviv resident Mark S. explained. “So he subletted my apartment in July 2015 because he was ‘this close‘ to moving here for good.  And at the end he asked if he could leave a bag in my apartment because he was ‘like definitely making Aliyah after the High Holidays.‘ I guess the joke is on me because he didn’t specify the exact year of the High Holidays after which he would make Aliyah. Also I checked the bag last week and it contains parts of a tent, a tea set, a pair of drawstring linen trousers, some old vitamins, and spices from the Shuk.”

While Jeremy remains on the fence in terms of Aliyah, he has not allowed his cold feet to limit his social activism on behalf of the Almost Maybe Possible Future Olim Community. He started a Facebook group called “Keep Almost Olim Almost in Israel” dedicated to the unique needs and issues facing Almost Olim, to include the lack of support provided by Nefesh B’Nefesh for those who have been about to make Aliyah since Obama’s first term. Jeremy is also contemplating going onto Secret Tel Aviv and asking for future free stuff for when he becomes a Lone Soldier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Nefesh B’ Nefesh Now Accepting Applications From Your Catholic Friend Back Home Who Everyone Thought Was Jewish

Joey

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 12/5/2015 at 6:20 PM

Jerusalem: Nefesh B’ Nefesh, in conjunction with the Jewish Agency, has just enacted a groundbreaking change to their business model, and are actively recruiting your Catholic friend Joey from back home who everyone just sorta thought was Jewish anyway.  The Daily Freier spoke to some of Joey’s other childhood friends today to get their take on this exciting chapter in the Zionist Project.

Growing up, we just kinda thought he was Jewish.” recalled Joey’s neighbor Gary B. “I mean, he was swarthy…Had a bit of a Jewfro….Plagued with self doubt.  After a while he just sorta found his way onto the bus to the JCC every Monday and Wednesday night for Hebrew School.  And to his credit, by Bar Mitzvah age, he was just as illiterate as the rest of us.”

Joey’s college roommate Jason G. recalled his memories on this topic. “Joey was always part of the crew. I mean it never occurred to me that somebody who was that neurotic and with that many sexual hangups could be anything else.  So this legislation really makes sense. Plus, he had a bit of a thing for Jewish girls.”

For his part, Joey is excited about making Aliyah and has already staked out plans for an early Spring Arrival date, followed by a move to Berlin for economic reasons some time in the late Autumn.

 

 

 

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Daily Freier’s Alert Readers Solve the Mystery of the Giant Balloon That Floats Over Ramat Aviv

ramat-aviv-balloon-daily-freierBy Aaron Pomerantz

Last Updated 9/15/2015 at 9 AM

Ramat Aviv, Rakevet Ha Universita: After last week’s request for help identifying the mysterious balloon in the sky above Ramat Aviv, the Daily Freier’s alert readers swung into action, revealing a dogged search for the truth, and for some, a clear need to get back on their prescribed medication.  Here is what our alert readers had to say:


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“It’s where Buji hides his charisma.” – Ron, policeman


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“It’s where the city keeps all the polite, good looking straight guys who will call you back” – Cathrine, web designer


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“Where’s Ramat Aviv????” – Shuki, playwright


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“I’ve been dating a Sabra girl for 2 years and I just told her over dinner that I want to break up with her…..so……Can I hide in the balloon for a few weeks? – Binyamin, Lone Soldier


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“Actually the Palestinians say it was originally theirs.” – Shoshanna, Optometrist


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“I’m sick of Tel Aviv. Will it take me to Berlin?” – Ashleigh Shapiro, actress


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“I don’t know, but the U.N. is about to pass a resolution against it”. – Adi, entrepreneur


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“Space Aliens…..except they’re also Jewish”. – Dana, stockbroker


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“Hot Cable’s Walk-In Customer Service” –Yonatan, Independent Contractor


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“It’s where Netanyahu has been hiding his good ideas all this time”. – Yuda, musician


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“Kanye is going to parachute from the balloon onto stage next month. ” – Yossi, teacher


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“Remember that nice inexpensive 3-room apartment near Hayarkon Park without a realtor fee that you saw advertised on Secret Tel Aviv?….. It’s up there.” – Howard, stock algorithm designer


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“Probably some Birthright shit.” – Reuven, mechanic

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