Tag: Maccabi Health

Top Ten Rejected Daily Freier Articles

Since 2014, the Daily Freier has scratched your collected itches for weird stuff. Sometimes we even write our stories based on tips from you, our alert readership! But what if a story is just “Too weird for the Daily Freier“? Well, it happens. Here are ten stories that we simply had to reject. Enjoy wondering what might have been.


1. The men who play pétanque on Rothschild Boulevard: without their clothes on!

2. Latest Nefesh B’Nefesh program helps you get banned from Secret Tel Aviv…. BEFORE you make Aliyah!

3.  Holmes Gym just opened membership to straight guys too!

4. Afula: Is it the new Neve Tzedek?

5. Bombshell: Two people who work in Israel Advocacy rumored to get along with one another.

6. Win a chance to be named Jerusalem’s Next Top Hot Chani!

7.  Maccabi Health offers free personal development classes to anyone in a Purim “couples costume”.

8. Strange But True: The weirdos who enjoy Tel Aviv AND Jerusalem!

9. Sarah Tuttle-Singer takes 3 bong hits and explains the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict.

10. “Have I Peed Here Yet?” An interactive street map for Tel Aviv men.

 

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Maccabi Health outsources Therapy & Counseling requests to Secret Tel Aviv

Maccabi Health

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 4/18/2016 at 5:00 PM

Tel Aviv, Basel: So you submitted a request to see a therapist last week online.  And now you’ve stopped by the Maccabi Office, taken a number, and walked down the stairs into their sketchy as hell waiting room.  You just need the Tofes 17 Form and then you can go see a therapist.  This is really important.  Being an Olah Hadashah is not easy.  And then there’s the school thing.  And your ex. And your mom.  And you made more per hour working for McDonalds 10 years ago than you make working for Nefesh now.

So anyway, all you  need is the approval form and you will be on your way!  But wait. The lady denied your claim.  Apparently Maccabi is cutting costs. She wants you to post your problems on Secret Tel Aviv “And they’ll take care of you”.

You: But that’s nuts!

Woman (Nava?): Welcome to Israel

You: But these are really personal problems!

Nava: Have you READ Secret Tel Aviv lately?

You: But they’re not professionals!

Nava: 90,000 people can’t be wrong.

You: But what if I have other questions?  Like what if I need to identify an insect I found in my kitchen?

Nava: They got you covered.

You: But what if I find a stranger’s underwear in my laundry?  Huh?

Nava: They got you covered.

You: But what if I need to find out what time the Shuk closes?

Nava: They got you covered.

You: This actually sounds pretty good. Thank you so much!

Nava: No problem.  Hey, do you have some place to go for Seder? We’re going to my Uncle’s house in Hadera.  You should come with us.