Tag: Shameless Self Promotion

Shameless Self Promotion

Our Readers have Spoken: The Top Daily Freier Article of 2021!

Well, the people voted and the competition was fierce. We had stories about hard-hitting issues like, umm, Wolt Delivery people and also the new tax on plastic utensils. Plus some random complaints about how the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem took the Corona crisis as a good time to stop actually doing stuff.

Yet in the end, Israel hypnotized you the voters chose our story  written at the height of this year’s war with Hamas entitled “Three of Ilhan Omar’s Ex-Husbands/Brothers feared missing in Gaza Tunnel Collapse“. While the Daily Freier stands by the integrity of the vote, Ms. Omar insists that it was “all about the Benjamins.”

The Daily Freier looks forward to even more amazing content from Congresswoman Omar in the coming year.

Shameless Self Promotion

Choose your favorite Daily Freier story of 2021!

Hi Freiers! So 2021 kinda…. sucked. Nevertheless, let’s stroll down Memory Lane and look back at some of this year’s A-Ma-Zing  journalism at the Daily Freier.  Here’s your chance to vote and have your voice heard! But unlike certain Democracies on the Eastern Shore of the Mediterranean, we don’t intend to draw this vote out for 2 years and 5 elections. Ha Ha! Just kidding! We think!

Anyhoo, go ahead and vote. Winner of this Fake Vote will win a Fake Prize. Barring any unforeseen circumstances like Aryeh Deri shaking us down for a bribe, results will be declared before Shabbat this Friday,

*Note for our readers who insist on being Extra: You have the option of submitting your own entry for this Contest.

  1. Victory: IDF weaponizes its inability to write a proper English sentence

  2. Nightmare: Someone just brought a Guitar to the Bomb Shelter

  3. Brits react to Israel’s new Salt & Vinegar Chips with calm & restraint.

  4. We built our own Israeli Political Party using a Bot Farm!

  5. Three of Ilhan Omar’s Ex-Husbands/Brothers feared missing in Gaza Tunnel Collapse

  6. “This is the End!” Yeshiva Bochers react to Tax on Disposable Utensils

  7. Help us nudnik the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem for appointments!

  8. Lone Soldier Political Party will join Coalition for an iPhone charger, 2 spliffs, and some Bamba

  9. Old School: Tel Aviv man doesn’t need Wolt job to be a Total Dick

  10. Meet this week’s top Nefesh B’Nefesh Aliyah Advisor for the UK!

Shameless Self Promotion

The People have Spoken: The Top Daily Freier article of 2020!

So the Covid Fever Dreams of our writing staff created some true literary gems in 2020. Roxy Cruz designed a collection of Barbie Dolls that were very…. Tel Aviv. In addition, we predicted that an influx of Israeli tourists into the United Arab Emirates might have unintended consequences 3 months before Bibi issued a statement asking us to behave ourselves over there. Yet in the end, it was Sarita Azul’s moving story about a pig from Haifa’s unwillingness to grant her a Jewish divorce that won the election.

Congrats Sarita, and best of luck with the Rabbanut.

Shameless Self Promotion

Choose your favorite Daily Freier story of 2020!

Hi Freiers! So umm, 2020 was sort of Interesting. Now is your chance to relive the weirdness as the Daily Freier went toe to toe with Corona, Dizengoff Center, Secret Tel Aviv almost going away, and Bingo Cards. Because while we wrote a bunch of stories, only one story can be the People’s Choice for 2020. So read these stories again, commit them to memory, and vote for your favorite. Also, since some of you are so incredibly Extra, you have the option to write in your own favorite candidate. Unlike other votes in Israel, we’re only doing this once. Winner will be announced on Monday.

Choose carefully, Freiers.

1) My Ex from Haifa is a Pig and won’t give me a Get. No you don’t understand. He is. A Pig.

2) Introducing: The Israeli Barbie Collection!

3) UAE cancels Peace Treaty after arrival of Israeli Tourists

4) Tomorrow at 4:20 PM, the whole Country will stand on our balconies to salute our heroic Weed Dealers

5) “No I can’t describe her appearance… she’s a woman!” Jerusalem bank robber escapes again

6) Israel sends Emergency Team of Election Experts to Iowa

7) Let’s play Hen Mazzig -vs- Ariel Gold debate Bingo!

8) The Daily Freier is now sitting Shiva for Secret Tel Aviv

9) “It’s a Hate Crime against Anglo Olim!” Tel Aviv woman reacts calmly to cost of spices

10) “The Oleh who learned Hebrew during Quarantine” and other Fairy Tales

Shameless Self Promotion

Ladies and Gentlemen….. the Top Daily Freier article of 2019!

Well, the people voted and the competition was fierce. Chava Ewa’s article “Amazon shocked to discover Israeli drivers act like Israeli drivers” received critical support from the ‘Greater Jerusalem Frum Womens’ Underground Coalition’ Voting Bloc and almost pulled off an upset.

Yet in the end it was the saga of Hen Mazzig’s on-again-off-again online Frenemyship with Ariel Gold that won the day. Yes, “Hen Mazzig’s pet rabbit in Protective Custody after Ariel Gold’s latest tweet” won the Internets.

Congratulations. Please come to Dizengoff Center on Friday right before Shabbat to collect your prizes. But leave Shani at home. You know, just in case.

 

Shameless Self Promotion

Choose your favorite Daily Freier story of 2019!

Hi Freiers! Well, 2019 was quite the trip, wasn’t it? The Daily Freier continued sharing and caring with YOU, our loyal readers. We wrote some wacky shit, and here is your chance to choose your favorite story from our ten most popular stories of 2019. Now you can read, re-read, and commit to memory this year’s Top Ten articles hyperlinked below, then choose your favorite story from the poll at the bottom of this page! Here they are, in no particular order. Also, because so much of our readership is incredibly Extra, you have the option to write in your own candidate. Winner will be announced this Thursday.

Choose carefully, Freiers.

1. Messianics posing as Frum Jews busted after showing up on time for a Simcha

2. Iceland’s Eurovision Band loses “Bad El Al service” case after Court finds no history of good El Al service

3. Police foil attempt to smuggle British Flag into Labour Party Conference

4. Amazon shocked to discover Israeli delivery drivers act like Israeli drivers

5. Pelosi restricts Ilhan Omar to just one anti-Jewish tweet per week

6. Jerusalem cab driver writes book about Sarah Tuttle-Singer

7. In ultra-real scenario, Japan’s IDF Cosplayer asks for free couch “as a Lone Soldier”

8. Top Ten Excuses for Israel’s Moon Crash

9. Hen Mazzig’s pet rabbit in Protective Custody after Ariel Gold’s latest tweet

10. “Still Not Gay Enough”: Tel Aviv’s last-minute Eurovision preparation

 

 

 

 

 

 

Israeli Politics, Shameless Self Promotion

Daily Freier Meet-Up & Elections Discussion: What could go Wrong?

Attention all of our Weird Followers:

WHO: You people

WHAT: Meet-Up at the Kerem House

WHEN: Wednesday 23 October, 8:30 PM

WHERE: Gedera 18, Tel Aviv

 

This is your chance to interact with one another. We’re going to make fun of our upcoming 3rd Election (you KNOW it’s going to happen) and have some drinks on a rooftop and you will all share your personal issues which the Daily Freier will spin into future stories. Your previous plans for Wednesday just seem silly now, don’t they?

Also, it’s going to be at Kerem House, and we lampooned them last week.

Shameless Self Promotion

Top Ten Rejected Daily Freier Articles

Since 2014, the Daily Freier has scratched your collected itches for weird stuff. Sometimes we even write our stories based on tips from you, our alert readership! But what if a story is just “Too weird for the Daily Freier“? Well, it happens. Here are ten stories that we simply had to reject. Enjoy wondering what might have been.

1. The men who play pétanque on Rothschild Boulevard: without their clothes on!

2. Latest Nefesh B’Nefesh program helps you get banned from Secret Tel Aviv…. BEFORE you make Aliyah!

3.  Holmes Gym just opened membership to straight guys too!

4. Afula: Is it the new Neve Tzedek?

5. Bombshell: Two people who work in Israel Advocacy rumored to get along with one another.

6. Win a chance to be named Jerusalem’s Next Top Hot Chani!

7.  Maccabi Health offers free personal development classes to anyone in a Purim “couples costume”.

8. Strange But True: The weirdos who enjoy Tel Aviv AND Jerusalem!

9. Sarah Tuttle-Singer takes 3 bong hits and explains the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict.

10. “Have I Peed Here Yet?” An interactive street map for Tel Aviv men.