1. The Straits are closed but he still has more oil than Diddy.
2. He works out at Holmes Gym in Dizengoff Center.
3. Still Looking for an Iftar with Bottomless Mimosas.
4. His Safe House has track lighting and tasteful but subdued carpeting.
5. Selling his tickets to Lady Gaga because “something came up“.
6. Grindr profile says he’s “On the DL” and “does not travel“.
7. The TikTok of him singing “Islands in the Stream” with Yahya Sinwar.
8. Blew his cover at the Bazaar today because he wanted to “make an Entrance”.
9. Always on fishing trips with Mohammed El-Kurd but they never bring back any fish.*
10. Skipped last year’s Al Quds Conference because he was “in my Annie Lennox Phase“.
* This is clearly a Brokeback Mountain Reference.
Special Thanks to Tireless Citizen Journalists Ari Calvo and Lee Saunders!
