By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 9/22/2017 at 11:50 AM
South Beirut: The Daily Freier has received some unsolicited and somewhat unwanted publicity lately. Hezbollah, an organization that lately has seemed better at killing Sunni Muslims than it is at killing Israelis, has its very own television station called “Al-Manar”. And Al-Manar just aired the Daily Freier Movie, only they shortened the title from “American Oleh trapped in Ulpan Gordon for Seven Years” to “That Idiot Jew“. The Daily Freier tried to call Sheikh Nasrallah for an interview, but he’s scared the Mossad would trace the call. So we settled for Hussein, a production assistant at Al-Manar TV.
“We really felt this was a story for the whole family.” explained Hussein. “Mothers, fathers, children, grandparents…. they can all sit together in the evening and enjoy the story of this walid majnoon named Jeff.”
Yet it was not only Al-Manar that loved the show, but also the average man and woman on the street. The Daily Freier asked one of our friends at Reuters to wander South Beirut and ask random people how they feel about the Daily Freier movie.
“That ridiculous Jew named Jeff! He is so stupid!” chuckled a barrel-chested guy with a mustache named Jaffar. “I will keep tuning in to see if he learns future tense verbs. But I doubt this will happen.”
“I really loved the show! He is such a fool!” exclaimed Fatima. She then quickly looked around to make sure nobody was listening and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I know it’s Haram… but I find ‘Jeff’ strangely attractive.”
Word of Al-Manar’s airing of “That Idiot Jew” has even moved beyond Lebanon and is now enjoying popularity abroad. Famed singer/songwriter/activist/dick Roger Waters was quite excited about the new show. “Finally! a show that really has a message!” Roger exclaimed.
While Al-Manar has enjoyed significant success with their new show, it has not come without protest from the Daily Freier itself. Our editor Yuval Weiss shared his anger during an interview with CNN earlier today.
Yuval: What Hezbollah Television did was illegal! It was immoral! and we are not going to…..
CNN: We have just learned that your website has 500,000 unique hits today alone. Additionally, a Muslim Dating Site wants to purchase a 2 month block of advertising on the Daily Freier. How does this…
Yuval: On second thought, we all must try to show greater empathy. We reluctantly accept Hezbollah’s actions in the name of cultural sensitivity.
In another piece of good news, after watching Hezbollah TV’s version of our movie, The New Israel Fund just offered us a 50,000 Shekel grant.