Tag: Tortit

Tell the Knesset to end Oren Hazan’s suspension NOW!

Sign the Daily Freier’s petition to reinstate Oren Hazan today!


We hereby demand that the Knesset reinstate MK Oren Hazan, immediately and unconditionally. Why? Because we are trying to run a humor site over here, and Oren is the greatest cure to writer’s block since Yair Netanyahu stopped inviting us out to the clubs.

Without Oren Hazan around, who is going to wave a tasty Tortit brand chocolate bar in Aymen Odeh’s face? Nobody, that’s who.

Without Mr. Hazan, who is going to cluck like a chicken during an argument with Ahmed Tibi? Huh?

Not to mention the fact that this suspension is putting at risk the Knesset’s greatest “Fun Couple”: Oren and Hanin Zoabi. Without Mr. Hazan around, nobody knows what Ms. Zoabi will do next. Actually, we have an idea. But it’s nuts.

Bottom Line: The Knesset needs to reinstate Mr. Hazan, so the Daily Freier can go back to writing stories that really just write themselves.

So write to feedback@knesset.gov.il today, and tell them to bring back Oren now!

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So How Do You Fake a Hunger Strike During Ramadan? Asking for a friend.

So How Do You Fake a Hunger Strike During Ramadan?By Marwan Barghouti

May 27, 2017

Hey gang! Big Marwan over here, and welcome to “Blogging with Barghouti“! Coming to you from the belly of the beast in the Zionist Entity’s biggest, baddest, most inhumane jail. The jail that STILL does not comply with our inalienable rights to 20 TV channels, cell phones and unlimited magazines (No. Really. that’s our demand!) Which is why we are still conducting our steadfast and honorable hunger strike.

(The Daily Freier is over at Israellycool today. Check it out with this link!)

Hey Dad? Next Yom Kippur Can I Fast “Marwan Barghouti Style?”

Today Jews worldwide are asking their parents, therapists, significant others, rabbis, and spouses whether it would be possible to observe this year’s Yom Kippur” Marwan Barghouti style”: by pretending to refuse to eat, but then secretly eating.

Palestinian prisoner Marwan Barghouti has been described as a leading proponent of non-violent resistance, except, you know, he sort of like ordered the killing of a whole bunch of people and stuff.

(The Daily Freier is published on Israellcool today. Go on over and check out the whole thing!)