…. Well you are simply taking away my voice as a Woman of Color and a Muslim in Donald Trump’s Amerika. And why are you even screenshotting my old tweets anyway? Is it because I speak Truth to Power? Like the time I told the CIA to “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself”?
Yeah, I said it. Doesn’t give you the right to remind people about it though. You see, I’ve gone mainstream. Like “Hanging with Bernie Sanders” Mainstream. Like “Leading the #Resistance” Mainstream. Like “Promoted by Comedy Central” Mainstream. Is this real enough for you yet?
With the ongoing slow death of a ridonkulous business model consolidation of online Jewish media, the venerable news site The Forward has hit upon a brilliant way to cut costs while still maintaining core brand identity: their web page now sends you directly to Linda Sarsour’s Twitter feed. Ms. Sarsour, noted feminist and Sharia advocate, has featured so prominently in the Forward as of late that it just made sense to cut out the middleman and bring Linda’s woke tweets directly to the Forward’s woke audience. The Daily Freier took a stroll around Park Slope, Brooklyn in order to get all of the facts from The Forward’s key demographic: Lefty Jews in a constant state of Checking their Privilege.
(Photo Credit: Our Legal Department says this does not resemble anything at all)
By Yuval Weiss
Last Updated 11/12/2015 at 11:20 AM
Washington: The Jewish Community is abuzz over the launch of a new dating site for Jews who are uncomfortable with Israel, dislike most Israelis, can’t stand the Congregation they grew up in, hate Birthright, don’t get along with anyone in their Hillel……OK OK…. it’s a dating site for Jews who don’t really like most other Jews they meet. The site, titled “J-Date Street” was launched with grants from Billionaire George Soros, the Center for American Progress, and the New Israel Fund. And certain segments of the Jewish community are VERY excited.
“OMG This is amazing!” noted Amanda K., a content writer at Jewish Voices for Peace. “I met this guy through the site who seems really nice. His avatar on the site is ‘Blumen to the Maxx’. He says he’s from a prominent Washington family too! We have a date tomorrow night in Georgetown! The only weird thing is he told me to bring a kaffiyyeh, Shabbat candles, and a jar of hummus….. ‘for later on that night’. I don’t know….is that normal?”
Despite this enthusiasm, the site is running into some problems reaching its target audiences. The Daily Freier talked to a spokesperson at Code Pink by telephone, who refused to provide a name, as this would be “an exercise in gender-identity exclusionary hegemony, reminiscent of the Zionist tactics of denying historical memory“. As the Daily Freier tried to wrap its head around that last sentence, the Spokesperson acknowledged that it would actually be nice to “meet someone new” as the writers over at Mondoweiss “just spend all day sipping cocoa in their pajamas”
Yesterday the site expanded to Israel, causing the Blog +972 to miss several publication deadlines as their editorial staff and writers ceased all work related activity for the day and crashed their server when everyone uploaded their dating profiles at once.
Live from Tel Aviv. This is like Satire and Stuff.