Tag: Kerem House

Top Ten Reasons why Kerem House moved

Over the past year, the Daily Freier has grown very attached to our favorite Tel Aviv cult community organization. We even teased them a little in an article! So it was a bit of a shock when we got the news that Kerem House had moved a few blocks away. Anyhoo, we cyber-stalked various Kerem House Committee Members and asked them the reason why they decided to move. So Behold, here is our Research!


1) We received a message from HaShem.

2) The Police started to ask questions about our Crypto Currency.

3) We needed to break up with our vegetable guy at the Shuk.

4) Wanted to be closer to Bograshov when the French arrive in August.

5) It was a chance to score another free Mezuzah from Chabad on the Coast.

6) The guys from MidBurn built a tipi on our roof and refused to leave.

7) We explained this in our Newsletter. Wait, you don’t subscribe to our Newsletter? Here, give me your phone. OK, you’re signed up now.

8) The mold in our bathroom wanted to live closer to the beach.

9) We applied for a Nefesh B’Nefesh “Go North” grant.

10) You’re gonna have to attend our next weird-ass TED Talk to find out.

 

 

Daily Freier’s Top Ten Corona Fears

1.  What if we run out of Biltong?

2. Are they going to close Trump Yeshiva?

3. Do you think someone is Quarantined with Ariel Gold?

4. If everyone’s in Lockdown, who gets to pee in Kikar Atarim?

5. Will this delay next months Elections?

6. What if Kerem House turns all of this into some kind of weird-ass online event?

7. The people still lost in Dizengoff Center: are they maintaining 2 meters distance from one another?

8. Will the Corona Crisis distract Health Minister Litzman from the important work of blocking the extradition of an accused sex offender to Australia?

9. What if Sarah Tuttle-Singer is using this time to write another book?

10. Has anyone told the American Oleh trapped in Ulpan Gordon for 7 years?

 

 

Daily Freier Meet-Up & Elections Discussion: What could go Wrong?

Attention all of our Weird Followers:

WHO: You people

WHAT: Meet-Up at the Kerem House

WHEN: Wednesday 23 October, 8:30 PM

WHERE: Gedera 18, Tel Aviv

 


This is your chance to interact with one another. We’re going to make fun of our upcoming 3rd Election (you KNOW it’s going to happen) and have some drinks on a rooftop and you will all share your personal issues which the Daily Freier will spin into future stories. Your previous plans for Wednesday just seem silly now, don’t they?

Also, it’s going to be at Kerem House, and we lampooned them last week.

Top Ten Worst Kerem House Events

So there’s an exciting new Events Venue in Central Tel Aviv, and it is Off. The. Hook….. Clothing Swaps, Yoga, Modern Dance and also some events for men! They’re doing Shabbat, they did this weirdly awesome night full of Israeli Midburn enthusiasts. They’re doing Country Night. The Daily Freier may even host a meet-up there in the near future. (Stay Tuned!) But for every successful event, there have been some that were…. not so good. So without further ado, here is our Top Ten List of Worst Kerem House Ideas!


 

1.  Fyre Festival Tel Aviv

 

2. “Come wash our dishes!”

 

3. “Is it still good?” A tasting buffet of stuff that’s been in our freezer since Shavuot

 

4. Win a chance to talk to the cops at our next noise complaint!

 

5. Come dressed as your favorite angry rant from Secret Tel Aviv

 

6. “50 randoms we found on Allenby” speed-dating night

 

7. After everyone gets drunk, we’re Skyping your parents

 

8. Come trade your cash for our new Crypto Currency!

 

9. “Misrad HaPnim” theme party

 

10. “Return our Deposit Bottles” Field Trip