Tag: Duty Free

Mossad, Terrorism

Top Ten Surprises in Fauda Season 5

 

Who among us is not beyond excited for the next season of Fauda?  With Season 4 already on the streets, we now have a new excuse to stay home and socially distance from all you weirdos. Yes it is the talk of the town, and now that it’s on Netflix, it also gives you something to talk about with your relatives in Chul! But (SPOILER ALERT!) there are some crazy plot twists coming up in Season 5, and the Daily Freier has the inside scoop! Here are just a few of the twists and turns that the writers and actors have in store for us next season!

1) Doron chases suspect into Dizengoff Center but gets lost and walks around for a 3-episode story arc

2) Hamas suicide bomber thwarted after heroic scooter riders knock him over on the Tel Aviv Tayelet

3) Doron, Sagi, and Captain Ayub buy an old beat-up van and go on stakeout dressed as Nachmanis

4) Weird subplot about a cranky washed-up British rock star from the 1960’s who dislikes most Jews

5) Nurit almost gets killed after she insists on stopping at the Brussels Airport Duty Free

6) Mossad starts using Anglo Olim speaking Hebrew over the phone in order to confuse Hezbollah

7) Mossad equally confused by Anglo Olim speaking Hebrew over the phone

8) Captain Ayub yells at the Team after they all share the same Netflix password and blow their cover

9) Episode One is just Sagi waiting for an informant to come up the escalator in Yitzhak Navon train station

10) Doron suspended after he forces a prisoner to listen to John Kerry speeches for 48 hours straight

 

Israelis Abroad

Top Ten Reasons that Israeli Woman walked into Syria last week
(photo credit: The Facebook)

So this Israeli woman wandered into Syria a while back and Israel apparently traded her freedom for Bamba, some rolling papers, and a matkot paddle the release of two Security prisoners and a large shipment of Russian Corona vaccines. It appears the woman has some issues, so this is a bit sad. But we paid a big price, she probably won’t be punished, and apparently she couldn’t care less. So here goes, the Daily Freier is going to satirize the situation with her Top Ten Excuses:

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(1) Sorry, I was using Waze.

(2) I’m still hiding from Hot Mobile because they said I never returned my router after I moved apartments in 2012.

(3) Nefesh B’ Nefesh asked me to join their “Go North!” program.

(4) Was hoping to escape those stupid automated texts asking me who I’m voting for in the election.

(5) I will do just about anything to get out of cleaning for Pesach.

(6) Hey, do you know where they keep the Duty Free?

(7) Was looking for “the best hummus place”.

(8) Wait, this isn’t Ra’anana?

(9) Syria still has better Corona numbers than Beitar Ilit.

(10) Someone said they were more relaxed about the Purim curfew there.