Tag: Roger Waters

Labour Presents: The Merchant of Venice!

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“I’m not sure what the issue is, quite frankly.”

(Photo Credit: Samuel Hardy)

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 4/5/2016 at 3:00 PM

London: Objections to a recent showing of The Merchant of Veniceby  Labour has left Party leadership surprised and confused.  Sheakespeare’s famous play is known for painting Zios members of the Jewish faith in a not-so-nice-light, but Party leadership insist that this played no role in their decision of the “Labour Party Players” drama troupe’s decision to hold a showing as a fundraiser for the upcoming elections. The Daily Freier spoke with Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn for his take on recent events.

“Was this offensive? I really can’t see where we went wrong. I simply feel that Labour went to great lengths to ensure an event that was even-handed and free of controversy. We even put Khadim Hussain in charge of publicity in order to avoid any problems.”

Labour Party Players” is an amateur troupe of thespians that includes past and present Party members who stage plays as fundraisers and for charity. Needless to say, staging a play that maintains good production value on a budget is not easy. Stage manager Gerry Downing explained. “We had trouble sourcing a Shylock who would be suitably true to the Bard’s vision, but our friends over in Neturei Karta really came through for us. We had 100 guys show up to audition… or you know, like all of Neturei Karta. Plus Vicki Kirby helped build a giant prosthetic nose that was just amazing.”

The Daily Freier spoke with members of the public as they departed last night’s showing for their opinions on this latest controversy. “Finally, a play that really has a message.” enthused musician Roger Waters.I suppose that the usual suspects will demand a pound of flesh raise spirited objections, but ‘the show must go on’ as they say.”

Hoping to move past the incident, Mr. Corbyn said that he was looking forward to next month’s presentation of “The Passion of the Christ.”

 

 

 

 

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Spinal Tap’s Summer ’16 Israel Tour Forces BDS to Boycott a Fake Band

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(Photo Credit: This is Spinal Tap)

By Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 3/12/2016 at 4:50 PM

Tel Aviv: Spinal Tap’s much-anticipated bookings in Israel for their 2016 Summer Tour have placed the Boycott, Divest, and Sanctions gang in a bit of a conundrum: how to boycott and shame a band that doesn’t really, like “exist”. Yet this has not stopped BDS, with the level-headed pragmatists at Electronic Intifada leading the way. “We’ve stalked all the real bands, so we were like, why not harass a fake band on a fake tour?  I mean, isn’t that the point of BDS? To get worked up about something that never really existed?

BDS’ efforts have recently received a boost, with Roger Waters chastising his fellow veterans of the British scene for their plans to rock their Israeli fans.  Asked to describe how annoying Mr. Waters’ pestering has become on a scale from 1 to 10, Spinal Tap guitarist Nigel Tufnel described the Ex Pink Floyd frontman as “going to 11

For their part, the members of Spinal Tap had specific questions about Israel. Bassist Derek Smalls appeared to have real concerns about Ben Gurion Airport’s famed security.

Not to be outdone, new BDS powerhouse Vassar College joined the scrum, declaring that if Spinal Tap played Israel, they would not be welcome at their campus, before admitting that nobody really wants to play in Poughkeepsie anyway.

 

Roger Waters in Stable Condition after Gaza Tunnel Collapse

“I was only down there for the acoustics!”

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 2/21/2016 at 11:20 PM

Gaza City: Famed singer/songwriter/activist/dick Roger Waters is in serious but stable condition after getting caught in the collapse of a tunnel southeast of Gaza City earlier today. The Daily Freier was at the scene when a representative from the Palestinian Red Crescent briefed the assembled press. “It was approximately 3:00 PM when the Zionist Entity and its Egyptian lackeys triggered a cave-in of the tunnel, trapping 3 of our pious and motivated young tunnelers, as well as our bizarre but helpful friend Mister Roger Waters.

When asked by MSNBC how rescue workers were able to find Mr. Waters, the spokesperson explained. “The tunnel was impassable to humans at this point, so we brought in Farfour the Mouse. He was able to find our friend by homing in on the intense scent of bitter self-righteousness that emanated from his body even when he was unconscious. Incidentally, this was exactly how we found Jimmy Carter after he accidentally wandered into the Sand Dunes last year during Ramadan.”

For his part, Roger Waters was insistent that he had done nothing wrong. “I know that the Zionists and their friends in the press will try to spin this in some negative light, but I was merely in the tunnel for its acoustics. You see, I’m recording a new singleIndigenous Olive Oil Can Flow Through Any Wall”, and I really needed just the right sound. But I think the vibrations from the snare drum may have set off a tremor and destroyed the tunnel.”

When the Daily Freier pointed out that since the tunnels go under the border, that he may have inadvertently stepped into Israel, he got really upset and his catheter fell out.

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Vancouver: We Booked Noa Because Hanin Zoabi Was Busy

Noa-Photo-screenshot-YouTube-Eurovision

(Photo Credit: Eurovision)

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 2/15/2016 at 9:30 PM

Vancouver: The City’s Jewish Federation responded today to public outcry concerning their decision to invite controversial singer and Left Wing Activist Achinoam “Noa” Nini for their Israeli Independence Day festivities.  Ms. Nini, a talented Israeli singer/songwriter, is not shy about expressing her views on how much Israeli leaders and voters totally suck.  Yet while the situation has ruffled some feathers, the Federation stressed that the decision to book Noa was taken simply because Hanin Zoabi’s Spring schedule just could not accomodate a trip to Canada. Ms. Zoabi, a member of the Israeli Knesset when she is not sailing on boats with Hamas,  has been busy filming a pilot for BBC, running Israel’s version of “Scared Straight” for at-risk youth, and getting suspended from the Knesset for holding a moment of silence for people who stabbed Jews.  Ms Zoabi reacted with regret to the missed opportunity. “As much as I wanted to participate in Vancouver’s  Naqba Day Yom Ha’atzmaut festival, I just have too much going on.

Vancouver Federation spokesperson David G. explained his organization’s stance. “When we saw Ms. Zoabi’s performance in Amsterdam for Kristallnacht, we were just blown away. Simply amazing how she commemorated a solemn memorial to the Holocaust by trashing Israel.  So we really hoped we could book her to do a Spoken Word Poetry Slam.  But unfortunately, she just had too much on her plate.  It is for this reason that we booked Ms. Nini, and we are sure she will do just as well!”

For her part, Noa plans a performance that will include (Spoiler Alert!)  some of her original works, plus some songs by Roger Waters.

Reaction from Israel’s political arena was swift, with Naftali Bennett declaring that since Noa is now recognized as a political expert, that he plans to release a hip-hop album. Yet at the same time, many of Noa’s fans are traveling from near and far to see her.  The Daily Freier spoke to longtime fan Dickie Silverstein. “I really want to come up from Seattle for the concert, so I went on my blog to solicit donations to pay for my bus ticket and a room at the Super 8. So far I’ve raised enough money to get to Bellingham. I can’t wait!”

While Yom Ha’atzmaut 2016 is still months away, planning is already underway for Vancouver’s 2017 event.  “I can’t stress enough just how long it takes to plan these events to perfection. It is for this reason that we have already set up a committee to plan next year’s event.”  When the Daily Freier asked David for specifics on what they could expect, he coyly stated “All I can say is: Cat Stevens, call your agent!

 

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La Cadena Estadounidense MSNBC, tras las Críticas por su Sesgo Anti-Israel, y para demostrar su objetividad, Contrata a Roger Waters como “Experto” en el Oriente Medio

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Artículo original: http://dailyfreier.com/2015/10/18/msnbc-hires-roger-waters/

Nueva York: En un movimiento para hacer que la cobertura de su red en el Oriente Medio sea más ecuánime, la MSNBC ha reemplazado al atribulado periodista y activista anti-israelí Ayman Mohyeldin por el ex líder de Pink Floyd Roger Waters.

La portavoz de la MSNBC Sabrina H. explicó así éste relevo: “Nosotros en la MSNBC sentimos que el Sr. Waters traerá una nueva perspectiva al conflicto en el Oriente Medio. El  Sr. Waters está  emocionado y deseando comenzar su labor“.

Cuando se enteró de este relevo y de estos comentarios, el Sr. Mohyeldin se mostró notablemente angustiado por el reciente cambio en los acontecimientos. “Estoy sin trabajo. No he visto venir este relevo. Pero también es cierto que hay un montón de cosas que no veo. Por ejemplo, tampoco vi la semana pasada el cuchillo en la mano del terrorista palestino que todo el mundo con dos ojos en la cara pudo ver.  Por otra parte, a veces veo drones israelíes que nadie más ha visto [N.P.: alusión a un incidente durante la guerra de Gaza]. Ya saben, lo de la visión es una cosa singular“.

Por el contrario, el Sr. Waters se mostró entusiasmado con su nuevo trabajo. The Daily Freier pudo encontrarse con el señor Waters en su nueva oficina en la MSNBC mientras unos trabajadores le instalaban una máquina de Sodastream [N.P: alusión a su contradictorio boicot de la empresa israelí].  “Nunca pensé que podría aterrizar en este lugar, ya saben ustedes quien domina los medios de comunicación del mundo [N.P.: alusión a su referencia a un control judío de esos medios]. Pero estoy emocionado de empezar a trabajar“.

Cuando el Daily Freier le preguntó al Sr. Mohyeldin cual sería su futuro, se puso filosófico. “Supongo que si el Sr. Waters puede ser un experto en el Oriente Medio, entonces tal vez pueda ser un mejor músico de rock que éste señor rechazado por sus propios ex compañeros de grupo“.

Las Estrellas de la Nueva Serie de Detectives Femeninos de la BBC Serán Hanin Zoabi y Margot Wallstrom

wallstrom-and-zoabi

Londres- La BBC dio a conocer su más reciente serie detectivesca para la primavera que se titulará “Wallstrom & Zoabi: Causas profundas“, un fascinante drama protagonizado por Hanin Zoabi y Margot Wallstrom, representando a dos poco escrupulosas detectives que resuelven crímenes mientras tratan de encontrar un perfecto equilibrio entre su trabajo y su vida en un mundo dominado por hombres.

Además de la canciller sueca Wallstrom y la miembro de la Knésset Zoabi (por el partido árabe Balad), la serie también contará con George Galloway (un conocido y estrafalario político antisionista británico) como su adorable y gruñón jefe de Policía, así como el diputado Jeremy Corbyn representando al colaborador fiscal del distrito, aunque algo cómicamente inepto, recibiendo ambos una importante e inexplicable promoción en la primera temporada. (También se rumorea que ambos podrían desarrollar un posible interés amoroso con las protagonistas en futuros episodios)

Producida por Roger Waters, la serie tiene un toque único en el que no importa cuál es el delito o quienes son los sospechosos, ya que el constante resultado final es que Israel es el culpable. El Sr. Waters explicó sus primeras preocupaciones para esta serie. “Al principio tenía miedo de que el hecho de que Israel siempre fuera el malo de la serie pudiera ser excesivo incluso para los ejecutivos de la cadena, pero entonces me dije, !! Tío, esto es la BBC !!“.

Por su parte, la BBC se siente segura de que ha tenido un golpe de suerte con la presencia de esta serie en su programación.  “Sentimos que a pesar de la leve previsibilidad de su enfoque, tendrá un fuerte atractivo para su objetivo principal: la audiencia“. El portavoz de la BBC, Stewart P. señaló que “ahora que Al Jazeera America cesa sus emisiones, vemos ahí una oportunidad real para capturar a su audiencia“.

En el episodio piloto, “!!! Spoiler !!!“, Hanin y Margot investigan las “razones de fondo” para una serie de asesinatos en París. Tras una hora de agotador trabajo detectivesco y de una persecución en coche, el dúo determina que el culpable “era Israel“.

La química entre las estrellas sueca y palestina sin duda brillará a lo largo de la serie, con la impetuosa Zoabi llamando a los policías árabes israelíes “traidores“, y la más matizada Wallstrom encontrando la manera de conseguir ser declarada persona non grata tanto en Arabia Saudita como en Israel. Mientras tanto, ambas utilizarán el enfoque de “cerebro más que fuerza física“, aunque sin miedo de patear algún culo cuando sea necesario. En una escena del segundo episodio, un guardia de seguridad intenta escoltar a Hanin Zoabi para que salga de una habitación, siendo empujado violentamente por Hanin.

Un episodio ya planificado que mostraba a la pareja investigando si el “asesinato policial en Suecia de un asaltante que con un arma asaltó violentamente una escuela violaba el derecho internacional“, fue cancelado debido a su falta de interés.

BBC’s Newest Detective Drama Stars Hanin Zoabi & Margot Wallstrom

Wallstrom and Zoabi

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 1/15/2016 at 12:30 PM

London- The BBC unveiled its newest show for the Spring lineup with the coming premier of “Wallstrom and Zoabi: Root Causes“ a riveting drama starring Hanin Zoabi and Margot Wallstrom as two no-nonsense detectives who solve crimes while trying to find the perfect work-life balance in a male-dominated world. In addition to Swedish Foreign Minister Wallstrom and Member of Knesset Zoabi (Balad Party), the series also features George Galloway as their gruff but lovable boss at the Police Precinct, as well as MP Jeremy Corbyn as a comically inept Crown Prosecutor who inexplicably receives a big promotion in the season premier. (It is also rumored that he may develop into a possible love interest in future episodes)

THIS ARTICLE IS FEATURED TODAY ON THE TIMES OF ISRAEL! READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT:

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/bbcs-newest-detective-drama-stars-hanin-zoabi-margot-wallstrom/

 

 

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Historians now claim that Roger Waters was once in a Band

494px-roger_waters_en_el_palau_sant_jordi_de_barcelona_the_wall_live_-_05(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 11/9/2015 at 1:30 PM

Cambridge, United Kingdom: Historians at the University of Cambridge’s King’s College dropped a bombshell this morning: that noted Anti-Semitic crank outspoken critic of Israeli policies Roger Waters was once in a popular band that played music that people enjoyed listening to.  The Daily Freier spoke by phone with Professor of Contemporary British History Baba Booey for details on this breakthrough discovery.

This is really quite remarkable, but prior to being known for drawing the Star of David on pigs and being creepily obsessed with Bar Refaeli, Mr. Waters was in a rather successful band known as ‘Pink Floyd’ during the latter half of the 20th Century.”  Professor Booey continued. “Archival history from the pre-Internet era seems to indicate that young people would often paint their dormitory walls with fluorescent paint, turn on blacklights, and play this music on a constant loop.  Apparently marijuana may have been involved.  And unlike Mr. Waters’ current manifestation, this early ‘proto-Waters’ seemed to enrich the lives of others and actually make people happy. Fascinating, really.”

Professor Booey then played a sample of Mr. Waters’ early music for the Daily Freier.  The music was rather excellent, although it was a bit derivative of Syd Barrett’s works.

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MSNBC Hires Roger Waters

Roger_Waters_Morumbi.jpg(Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons)

By Yuval Weiss

Last Updated 10/18/2015 at 2:30 PM

New York: In a move to make the network’s coverage of the Middle East more even-handed, MSNBC has replaced troubled Middle-East reporter Ayman Mohyeldin with former Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters.  MSNBC spokesperson Sabrina H. explained the change of lineup.  “We at MSNBC feel that Mr. Waters will bring a fresh perspective to the conflict in the Middle East.  Mr. Waters is excited to hit the ground running.”  

When reached for comment, Mr. Mohyeldin was noticeably distressed about the recent change of events. “I’m out of a job.  I totally did not see this coming.  But  there’s a lot of things I didn’t see.  Like the knife in the hand of the terrorist last week that everyone with two eyes could see.  Then again, sometimes I see Israeli drones that nobody else can see.  You know, vision’s a funny thing.”

Conversely, Mr. Waters was enthusiastic about his new job. The Daily Freier caught up with Mr. Waters at his new MSNBC office as workers installed his personal SodaStream machine.  “I never thought I could land this gig, what with you-know-who running the world’s media.  But I’m excited to start work.”

When the Daily Freier asked Mr. Mohyeldin what his future held, he waxed philosophical. “I guess if Mr. Waters can be a Middle East expert, then maybe I can be a bitter English ex rocker who is disliked by his former bandmates.”

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